Thank you all for your interest in and support of Sophie and I during this stressful time waiting for the biopsy results. My intuition told me it was serious, that is was cancer and the biopsy results confirmed that it was. The good news is though, they feel very confident that they were able to get all it of during surgery and that it hadn't yet spread into the surrounding tissue.
I can't tell you the relief I feel, how thankful I am, i can finally let out that big sigh i've been holding in and just relax. Long may her days be, running through the field, exploring the woods, and being right by my side.
I never tire of taking photos of the woods and river I walk. Everything is constantly new and changing, from morning to noon, day to day, season to season. The full sun of noon light made some of the shots overexposed, and I liked that. This tree has witnessed many a campfire we have made beneath her boughs, heard us singing, heard us drumming, once even witnessed a ceremony after my mother died, where friends and I sent ashes floating downstream while a woman played the harp.
Prayer flags that are at least 15 years old that have wrapped themselves around this twin tree. I hand dyed each of the squares of cloth and wrote my prayer/drew my pictures on them. They flapped in the river breeze for many years before making this their new home. In my mind, I see new ones flying here again this summer, i look forward to creating them.
I spotted two wishes ready to take flight
I met an old friend on the beach and took several photos of him as the tree shadows above him swayed in the breeze.
Mainly I was just mesmerized by the voice of the water and the glints of sun and shadows reflecting the trees and sun.
When The violin Can forgive the past
It starts singing.
When the violin can stop worrying About the future
You will become Such a drunk laughing nuisance
That God Will then lean down And start combing you into His Hair.
When the violin can forgive Every wound caused by Others
The heart starts Singing.
I dream of a quiet man who explains nothing and defends nothing, but only knows where the rarest wildflowers are blooming, and who goes, and finds that he is smiling not by his own will. ----Wendell Berry
Naked I lie in the green forest of summer. . . . Too lazy to wave my white feathered fan. I hang my cap on a crag, And bare my head to the wind that comes Blowing through the pine trees. ----Li Po
a nice deep swimming hole
the barn swallow couple is back, busily building a nest on our porch, above this light. they are such social birds, really seem to appreciate human comings and goings, they'd really have to as their nest is 2 yards from our front door.
dear readers, i wish you were at my door, coming for an afternoon visit. i would take your shoes and give you a pair of slippers to wear. We would sit on a blanket on the grass and i would serve you coffee and tea with rhubarb crisp (or koolaid and soda crackers if you prefer). We would ask about one anothers lives, laughing at the funny parts. You would eventually tell me your were quite full, and it was time for you to go. I would bring you your shoes, hug you goodbye and wave to you from the porch till you disappeared down the road.
This has been one of those weeks where my attention flies from one thing to another and I can't seem to make myself do those things that I'm supposed to be doing (like writing an article, designing class proposals, answering emails...). Part of it I'm sure is the waiting for Sophie's biopsy results. Waiting can feel like a restless limbo, an invisible cage created by my mind. When I finally decide to stop fighting this restlessness and instead settle into following where my urges, hunches, and heart want to go, just for a bit, I once again find my joy and my balance.
This project took me on such a journey, through the world of colors and fabrics, fabric on fabric, painting on fabric, writing words, then words-covered-over. It was such a satisfying feeling, something that inhabits me still even though the process of creating has ended. To create from the place of not wanting or needing a "product" that I can sell or just justify my time to but instead create with a drive, with a digging to reach balance. It's a raggedy shape, I want it that way. I don't have a clue what I'll do with it, probably just tack it to the wall with thumb tacks. It felt so good to make something that didn't fit into a frame, or lay down straight, something that had a mind of it's own, that birthed itself using my hands and eyes, that didn't need to try to be perfect or even fit in.
And here and here are a couple songs from a group I can't get enough of these days. Thank you for stopping by, for the comments that you leave - i read and appreciate each one, even if I don't email you personally to say so.
And here is the beautiful and creative work that came out of the Poetry in Motion class; I do apologize for some of the blurry photos and glare caused by the lightening and sheen from the wax. I extend the warmest thank you to all my wonderful students.
I arrived back home late Tuesday night from my fabulous adventure at Art and Soul in Virginia where I taught two classes. This was my first time ever, teaching in Virginia and the furthest east that I have ever been. Both of my classes were an absolute joy - the students were full of enthusiasm, openness, and an adventurous spirit so we had a lot of fun and they made some wonderful pieces. The lighting in the convention center combined with the glare of the wax wasn't great for getting good photos but I did my best. Here are the ones I got from the Picture A Window class:
wearing shoes made of rubber and two dozen dark holes
that snake into my heart
each coil a shape shifter
connecting delicate strands
intricate beads of fear that can multiply faster than my
days short on hours
deepening holes scar invisible ground
using what I have, my fists
(how many get-out-of-jail-free cards are there anyway?)
clouds frost me thick in shades of pink and gray
push through six weak knees and blowing shadows
into my nose
coating my mouth thick
as i swallow the truth:
i can’t save you, we are all at the mercy of grace.
Tomorrow (Thursday) morning our sweet King Charles spaniel Sophie goes into the hospital for surgery to remove a tumor - the vet said the odds are about 60-40 that it is benign. She is only 5 years old, still a young dog, a constant companion and love of our lives. I would be so thankful for any thoughts and prayers sent her way.