sweet and bitter too

We said our goodbyes to Marissa this morning after a beautiful few days visit. She came home specifically to go to a concert with her sister, but we got time to ourselves with her too which has been rare the past few visits. As hard as I tried not to cry when we hugged, I couldn't manage it, and I have felt choked up and teary ever since.  I do not like goodbyes...

This morning she was going through boxes and closets, trying to locate her old prom and homecoming dresses (she has the idea to throw a party for her friends where they all wear their homecoming/prom clothes). We found two of the multitude of dresses she had over those four years, I've put the others away in too good a spot (the truth is,  I hope I still have them, I've done some radical cleaning and purging over the years since the girls left home and I honestly don't know). In one of the cedar chests we came across the  gorgeous velvet gown that belonged to my mother, that she wore in the thirties when she was singing,  dark chocolate brown in a size so small that I had never seen it worn.  For as long as I can remember, while my mother was still alive, she had hopes and aspirations to lose enough weight to fit into that dress once again. I think there are many of us that can relate to that.

Marissa tried it on and it fit her perfectly, she looked so beautiful. Knowing that my mother wore this same dress and that she would be smiling such a big smile to see it on her granddaughter - well, it was just a very emotional morning, sweet, bitter-sweet, and I savor every moment.

Comments

[carol sloan]

So sweet Katie. So timely as I realize all these things as I go through my mom's things after her death. We just never know how those little things that our loved ones keep are going to impact us. I love reading your words and so many times they seem to have a parallel meaning in my own little life. I am looking forward to seeing you at Jane's this year!

[judy wise]

What beautiful photographs. So glad for the time you had together. xo

[Mary Beth]

What an incredibly beautiful dress and your daughter is amazing in it. I feel sure your Mom would be so very proud. Great photos.

[Kate Robertson]

Oh your daughter looks beautiful in that dress. What a special moment that is. I am sure your mom was there too!

Kate

[stephanie]

So so beautiful!! The sentiments shared here AND the photos!!

Those pockets!! I MUST figure out the pattern for those pockets! I want to sew some on every skirt and pair of jeans I own!!
oxoxox

[misty]

sigh... she is so beautiful and that dress...oh my! i love that it was your mothers.

i don't think i will ever be able to hold back the tears when i say goodbye to someone i love... every.single. time. i think i am not going to cry, but then i can't help it, the tears come rolling down....
so glad you had this time with your girls. xoxoo

[Laura Miller]

I've not been able to find the exact quote, but I once read that love is so powerful only the really courageous dare risk it. Your daughter is beautiful and that dress seems almost a portal connecting her, you and your mom. Lovely.

[Allegra]

Why restrain the tears? Isn't that the language of the soul becoming evident in a form we may recognize without having to question its identity? Tears of joy, of grief, of relief, what difference could that make? They are in my opinion, little shards from the soul, that magical crystal that holds our emotions and that at times refuses to be kept silent and blind to its own needs.

I celebrate tears, they can communicate so much if we understand the language, seldom are they mistaken as words could be. Even tears of rage have that power. When we cry, the soul has spoken and some times only the silence is listening...bliss.

[kelly snelling]

life and the love we feel from one generation woven through and into another swells our hearts so big that tears can't help but burst out. embrace all the love, katie, and the tears and know that you are so special. you always warm my heart.

[Lee Anne "Nikki"]

The tears....they always come when it is time to go on our own journeys......Thank you for sharing your gorgeous photos and words.....it is always a joy to visit.

[katiejane]

So beautiful, and such a lovely story, too.

[kim]

i still get chocked up with my daughter leaves to go home and she is only 30minutes away...xo

[Tess]

She is beautiful as is the dress.